I have a confession. Each and every morning I almost cry.... out of joy. Often a tiny teardrop will creep out of the corner of my eye as I go to get Marlow from her crib.
I wonder sometimes when or if it will ever go away.
I do realize that at some point she'll probably greet me halfway with her giant grin of accomplishment.... once she can climb out of the crib. I also realize that at some point she's going to scream at me to get out of her room.
I suppose that's why every single morning feels like a gift... and like the first time I've seen her in forever. Don't get me wrong, waking up from a restful sleep to a whiny baby is no walk in the park....but the moment I turn the corner and know that her eyes are about to meet mine I am completely overwhelmed with gratitude and excitement. Every day with her is an adventure and an incredible blessing. Despite the hurdles we've crossed I've never felt so complete.... so understanding. I've never felt like I understood why things happen the way they have. I guess I wouldn't have it any other way. I am blessed. We are blessed.
Today I held her close when we were walking into the house after an outing. The house was so still and quiet and I was concentrating on finding the light. For a brief moment all I could hear was her sweet little breaths. It was the cutest thing. I was taken back to the moments of her ultrasound... and watching her little body rise and fall with each breath. Somehow I took a snapshot of that moment. I couldn't believe this tiny little person was essentially breathing inside of my belly. Tonight I can hear her whispy little breaths as I kiss her goodnight. I'm so unbelieveably appreciative for this gift in our lives. Today I realized how much she shows me the little things to treasure.
Okay.... I'm completely in love with our little wonder.... I blame it on the recent birthday planning that's forcing me to slow down and reflect. :)
Aww this was beautiful! She really is a gift and she is so lucky to have you =)
ReplyDeleteThought you would enjoy this quote, 'What took me by surprise is the way I feel when her face lights up when I walk into a room because I am her world and she is mine. Being a mother is like taking your heart out of your chest and watching it walk around.' - Unknown
ReplyDeleteThey really are miraculous. I completely relate to the joy you are describing. Knowing that their time as babies is fleeting makes me focus on the present and live each moment as fully as I can. Indeed, your little sweetie is very lucky to have you. :)
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