Being a mom

I know I go on and on about how quickly it goes... but I truly am still in shock that this is the life I'm living.  I don't think I could've even planned it out this spectacular.  I don't think I ever knew how much I wanted to be a mom.  I mean the feeling came over me so suddenly and there was a moment... a phase... where it was all I could think about.  I pictured dancing around the house with a little sweet love slung on my hip and giggling in the shade while reading books..... I still dream of chalk drawings on the side walk and baking lessons with auntie Tammy... but *sigh* somedays I just feel like it's too good to be true.  Those days I understand my mother so much more.  I see how hard it was.  How much she tried.  How much she worked.  How much she loved.  I hope that Marlow will be able to see me that way too... someday.

Being a mom is incredible.  It's demanding.  It's rewarding.  It's a gift.  It's life changing.  I'm not who I was. I was looking through some old pictures tonight.  I can't believe how much time has passed.  I can't believe Marlow will grow to be her own independent person... who will struggle, who go through sad times, who will love, and who will hopefully be blessed enough to be a mother too. 

Being a mom.... I just wouldn't do anything any other way.  I think the one thing I hope for her and her future is that she has no regrets... please please God do not let her be fearless!!!... but just purposeful...as if everything has a reason... most of all.  Let her be happy.